Broken

And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning

So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you

I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will
I will be okay

Broken lights on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
I haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning

These are part of the lyrics to the song Broken by Lifehouse. They never had so much meaning until today when I really listened to the song. Sometimes I feel like the past is going to overwhelm me. I feel like I can't survive it. I feel like it's hopeless and that I don't deserve to be doing "okay". At times I literally feel like I am drowning in the shame/pain of it all. But times like today I am reminded that God is in control. He is always in control. God does not want me to punish myself He just wants me to grow and learn from the past. It's so hard.

I should update this huh?

It has been a very long time since I have updated this thing! A lot has changed. For many reasons, Chris and I moved to Lynchburg Virginia! The biggest reason being to finish school at Liberty University! We both got jobs at the school and one of the benefits is free school! Not too shabby huh? Chris has already started and will graduate May of next year. I will be starting soon and still have a couple years to go. My plan is to finish my Undergrad in Education and I will be doing a double Minor in Christian Counseling and Psychology. After I do get my bachelors degree I plan on getting my Master of Education. I put my dream of being an Elementary school teacher on hold for years but now I am so ready to continue pursuing it! I can't even explain how excited I am! I feel so blessed to have this opportunity!! I know I have a ways to go but its actually attainable now and that's enough for me!!

So we have been here in Lynchburg for almost 3 months and I am absolutely loving it! We have met some fantastic people and have attended some fabulous churches. So fabulous we cant decide on just one! Anyway, I will continue to post my adventures of being a Lynchburger. =]